do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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