Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
