Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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