i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Randomize
