this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Randomize
