I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
