Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
