I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
