This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize