if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
