someone threw a dead crab at me
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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