Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
