Ambien. No doubt about it.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
