I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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