I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
