well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
