The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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