a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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