I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You dont lie about slip and slides
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
