Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
