arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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