So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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