No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
