Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
