i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
