I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
