Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
