WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
