i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
