I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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