Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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