Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
