ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
