I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
