bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
