Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
