Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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