i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
