she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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