I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
