If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
