There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
