i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
