Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize