yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
