Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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