are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
