I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Randomize
