My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
