ADVERTISEMENT

• (602): View more from Arizona

  You can't motorboat a personality

  Fav 18 1694 2544

  share tweet
  

• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.

  Fav 32 4131 1175

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (716): View more from New York

  He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid

  Fav 22 4970 2501

  share tweet
  

• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"

  Fav 10 4066 1277

  share tweet
  

• (919): View more from North Carolina

  He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.

  Fav 11 5208 1281

  share tweet
  

• (208): View more from Idaho

  New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.

  Fav 10 2927 1370

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (512): View more from Texas

  Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day

  Fav 6 2546 1813

  share tweet
  

• (313): View more from Michigan

  Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.

  Fav 7 3053 894

  share tweet
  

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out

  Fav 6 1322 718

  share tweet
  

• (860): View more from Connecticut

  people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids

  Fav 2 2173 649

  share tweet
  

• (703): View more from Virginia

  I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Hydrate.

  Fav 5 1474 667

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (805): View more from California

  GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!

  Fav 4 631 504

  share tweet
  

• (229): View more from Georgia

  I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is

  Fav 4 1426 531

  share tweet
  

• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.

  Fav 0 311 163

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.

  Fav 3 117 265

  share tweet
  

Randomize