he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
