it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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