Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
