forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
