so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
