Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
