My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
