so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
