I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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