After last night, I could never be a politician.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
